The Fault In My Scars
by munchkinsaurus
Summary: Mr Perfect is my brother. I lost my mother. My father is a workaholic. My life is a roller coaster that only goes down my friend. No chance to change the way I am. Just being me. This is my journal about being a cancer kid.
1. No Longer Perfect

Broken hearted? Nah. Abused: Not really? Bullied: Heck Yeah. Welcome to the life of me, Melony. I live in a town where you better be careful of what you say and do. My life has been surrounded by doctors, bullies, multi personalities, and revenge. I was raised most of my life by my father. My mother died when I was five years old. I was 10 when they diagnosed me with stage 2 leukemia. I am 17 now and ready to change my life.

At school I was being pushed around. Everyone shouting words at me. I just keep walking to my locker. Ever since middle school my brother abandons me once he hops out of his car. Every once in a while I get locked in. I opened my locker when Angelica showed up. She is the queen bee of the school. I hated her so much.

She said, "Oh hey it is the hermit. I wonder what she is doing later. You better be at the lunch table at lunch." The lunch table is where I go sit with the pops so Angelica can "accidently" dump my lunch all over me. I had a huge grin on my face.

I said, "Oh I can't I am going to lunch with my dad. I guess I have to brain check our little lunch date for later. By the way that shirt needs a makeover." I dumped my red Gatorade on her white shirt. She was so furious. I took off sprinting before she could kill me.

On the school chat page there was a picture of me when I dumped my Gatorade on Angelica. The caption was The Hermit becomes a hero. Everyone commented saying that they didn't know what side to be on because Angelica would kill them if they went on my side but I did what everyone wanted to do.

Ryan plopped down next to me and said, "You are actually a star. I still don't regret leaving you but that is hilarious. I mean honestly who doesn't want to do that to Angelica. Well except all of her sex toys." Angelica was a slut. Somehow she ended up as Queen Bee. Literally she got an award that says most likely to be a prostitute and another award that says Queen Bee.

At lunch I saw my dad in the parking lot. Angelica grabbed me. I knew what was going to happen. Being the person I am I started shouting rape. A ton of guys came running over because they side with me when it is between me and Angelica. They boys grabbed her and pushed her away from me. I took off sprinting to my dad. My brother has a spooked up look on his face when I got there. I didn't say a word to him. He would figure it out later.

Back at school I headed to my favorite class. Creative writing is a great place to take out my anger. I was writing a story about a girl with cancer that never gets a chance but one day the most popular guy in the school falls in love with her and she becomes popular. After she becomes popular after a while she gets sick and dies. Very tragic I know. It is the life I am supposed to have. My teacher loved it when I gave it to her. She knew I was going to be a writer someday. For now I am just a high school student who did what others couldn't. I was fighting cancer, I got out of fights with Queen Bee, I could become a somebody, and I could almost live a normal life. Till…

I get to my locker and Angelica grabs me. I had no chance to escape. I was domed for the rest of my life at the moment. I knew her one weakness though. I would have to wait for the right moment.

She said, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? TRYING TO BECOME ALL POPULAR BY THROWING OFF MY THRONE! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE RULING THIS SCHOOL BECAUSE IT IS MY TERRITORY SO BACK OFF BITCH." She threw a punch at me. I let it hit me. She is a weakling.

I said, "I don't give a crap about your throne. I just want you to quit bullying me. You don't know me and you never will. I am not the girl you mess with." I stormed off

I fell down. I broke down. No one cared about me. The freak girl that has no friends. I can't stand it when the one guy that used to care about me abandoned me for the Pops. I realized he never cared about me. I realized I am not meant to be perfect. I sat up and pulled out my laptop. I stared at the school chat topics. The most popular topic was me. I couldn't believe what I saw. I wanted to throw my laptop across my room. I wanted someone to care.

My older brother came in. He was the only person that has been there for me. I knew he tried but he isn't there for me at school. I knew he wanted to help me. I knew the second we hit school grounds he will abandon me. I was just a loner waiting to find someone who truly cares.

He said, "What is wrong? You know that you are the most important girl in the world to me. I can't believe that you are the school nobody. You are amazing." I felt anger build up. Being Princess Perfect was hard. I wanted to throw a chair at him. I couldn't hold back the anger.

I said, "Really? That is what you ask me. Every day the second we hit school grounds you all of the sudden don't realize me. I am just that freakish girl with Leukemia that lost her mom. The freak that has no more friends because the one that she had left her. No way that you show you care." He backed out of my room and Dad walked in.

Dad said, "I signed you up for a support group. You will learn you aren't the only one going through what you are going through. I promise that you will be alright." I decided not to say anything. The only way my dad would change his mind if I had an attack. I got up and pulled my messy brown wavy hair back and threw on a pair of black high top converse. I hoped into my dad's red pickup.

I got to the place and a bunch of teenagers were piling into the church. I sighed. I climbed out of the pickup and headed inside. I saw that maybe I wasn't as bad as others. I sat down next to a girl with short hair and an oxygen tank. She didn't seem as bad as other people. She had a guy sitting next to her who was gorgeous. I mean he was like drop dead gorgeous. I take it that they are a couple. Some guy started talking. His name was Patrick.

He pointed at me and said, "Why don't you say your name, your age, and your type of cancer." I stood up. I wasn't afraid to talk but come on how bad could this be. I stared at everyone.

I said, "Hello, my name is Melony but I go by Mel. I am 17 years old. I have stage two leukemia." People just stopped and stared. I knew this was to be interesting. Patrick broke the silence.

He said, "And how are you doing?" Oh fabulous this question was the worst question they could ask me.

I said, "Well my cancer hasn't really affected me. Well the only way it affected me was losing the people I cared about. Not that perfect. I could be better but I learned to be alone." One girl gasped. I recognized who she was. Maddy Alex the girl who bullied me the most when I first learned about I had Leukemia.

I sat back down. I wasn't all that perfect. Being the little angel that got hurt. This is not really who I wanted to be but it is what people created of me. I never knew love. I listened to other people speak about their lives. I only remembered three people's names. Augustus, Hazel, and Isaac. Hazel and Augustus were the couple sitting next to me. Isaac sat across the circle from them. I knew that they were really close. Just the way they acted.

After the meeting I went outside. I had to wait for my dad to pick me up. I saw Isaac and Augustus were talking. I saw everyone pile into cars. Augustus walked up to me. Isaac following him.

Augustus said, "Hey aren't you Mel? I was curious if you wanted to hang out with us sometime. You don't seem like the person to have a lot of free time. I mean of what you said in your speech." I nodded at him.

I said, "I would love to. I am free any time after school." I wish everyone at school will believe this. I knew only a few people will believe me. I wanted people to realize that people can like me and I can't be a loner for the rest of my life. That I am a normal person.

Isaac said, "Gus lets go. You promised me we can play the game." Augustus said goodbye. My dad pulled up and I climbed into his truck. My dad pulled away and I just wanted to go back and hang out with Isaac, Augustus, and Hazel. I didn't want to go back to reality.

At my house I got on the school chat. I was looking through what people said about me. One girl called me a slut. My brother called me a no good loser who never does anything good in her life. I finally had the courage to stand up for myself. I look at my last chance for my reputation to actually go up hill but here we go.

Me: _If you are going to talk about a girl make sure you know her first. Honestly name one thing that you know about me. I don't think more than a couple of you know I have Leukemia. I bet none of you know that I have to take of my brother when my dad isn't around. I bet none of you even knew that I already know everything about every single person in our school. Like Angelica only hangs out with my brother for sex. Ryan left me because all of the stupid jocks decided they wanted Ryan. I literally thought you would be there for me forever and always. I guess not. Kyle you say that I am the most important girl to you but you tell all of your friends I am a low life sister. Am I really that bad? I am done with everyone trying to hurt me._

I finished tagging the people I mentioned in the post and published it. I was never going back now that the monster has been unleashed.


	2. Devil Inside

I sat on my bed. I just sat there staring at my laptop. I curled up just staring at the comments. Each one of them saying that I shouldn't be doing this but I already let the monster out. I couldn't let my life continue like this. My life is how I want to live it and this is not how I want to live it. I was done with the torture.

My brother came in and sat down next to me. I just glared at him. I was done with him and his multiple personalities. I never want to see him ever again till he picked a personality. I knew deep down I want him to realize he never truly has been there for me but I know he doesn't. It is the way he is.

He said, "Why did you post all of those lies? You are hurting people. I thought you actually were different from everyone else. I know that you have built up anger inside. You can't continue with these lies because they aren't true. No matter what you think they aren't true." I felt myself ready to burst. I just got up and stormed out of my room. Leaving him calling my name. I dialed a number in my phone as I headed out.

A voice answered, "Hello?"

I said, "Hey it is Mel from the support group can I come meet you guys somewhere? I need to get away from my house for a while." I heard the voice laugh. I knew it was Isaac. Isaac gave me his phone number before I left.

He said, "Sure we are over at Gus' house if you want to come over. It isn't like you have any better ideas." I laughed. I knew that was true.

I said, "I'll be over in five minutes. See you soon." I hoped in my dad's pickup and drove away. My dad wanted me to be happy. I will text him later to tell him that I borrowed his pickup.

I pulled up to Augustus' house and walked inside. I went down to the basement where Isaac, Hazel, Augustus were. I sat on the floor next to Isaac's chair. Augustus was laid out on the couch and Hazel was on the floor next to him. Augustus was playing with Hazel's hand.

Hazel said, "Have you heard from Monica?" Wait hold on Isaac has a girlfriend. Whoa I wasn't expecting that. I mean yeah he isn't bad looking but come on still.

Isaac, "Nope not a thing." That is just terrible. You can't just ignore your boyfriend when he is blind.

Hazel said, "She hasn't even texted you to make sure you are okay?"

Isaac, "Not once." That poor guy. I mean I never actually had a boyfriend but still. You can't just leave you boyfriend just because he is blind how stupid is she? I wanted to be able to be like this. A life where I know how it feels to be heart broken. Not the life I have.

Augustus said, "I hate that girl. Hazel Grace do you have five dollars?" I knew exactly what they were going to do. I wanted to help but my dad texted me that I had to come home.

Isaac pulled me away and said, "You have to go home don't you? I was going to invite you to come along but I guess you can't. I can feel that you are upset."

I said, "I have to go. I borrowed my dad's truck. I promise tomorrow I can hang out with you if I don't get grounded." Isaac gave me a hug. I was confused. Was I falling for Isaac without realizing it?

At home my dad was sitting waiting for me. I knew I was in trouble. My dad the way he was sitting tells me that I am in huge trouble. Probably means I can't hang out with Isaac tomorrow.

My dad said, "You took my truck without permission after you stormed out on your brother. What has gotten into you? You never act like this. Especially to me." I filled up with tears. I wanted to cry.

I said, "Everyone that I have cared about has hurt me. First mom died, and then I became a nobody once I started getting Leukemia, and now everyone at school is trying to hurt me. Your son is not my brother. He abandons me the second he steps out his car. Queen bee bullies me every day. Ryan left me to hang out with the jocks. I couldn't handle the anger anymore. I told my side of the story on the school chat and your son claims that everything I posted was lies. I got angry and left to go hang out with kids that I met at the support group. Now that you are all caught up in my life what are you going to do?" My dad hollered my brother down.

My dad said, "You made a promise to your mother that you would be there to protect your sister. Why is your sister being bullied at school? Why do you abandon her at school? Why did you call everything she said a lie even though you know it is the truth? You failed your mother. You failed me. By this point my dad was yelling. He never yells. My dad wrapped his arms around me.

My brother said, "I can't lose my life saving her. She deserves to be a nobody at school. Every time she does something to Angelica she gets a little more fame. She hurts me every time she hurts Angelica."

I shouted, "I knew it. You never cared about me. You only care about your repetition. I don't care if you get hurt. You don't know what I deal with every day. You think you know. I knew the second we hit high school that you would no longer care about me." I stormed off. Mom this is the one time I need you and you aren't here to show me how to get through this. I miss you.

I sat in my room crying. My dad was yelling at my brother. There was no end. I called Isaac so I could talk to someone. Isaac answered right away.

He said, "Hey do you miss me or something? You called twice in one day." I knew he was joking with me.

I said, "In your dreams blind boy. Anyways I need to talk to someone. My brother finally admitted that he never cared about me since we hit high school. My dad won't stop yelling at him. I am not getting any friends at school. I just feel alone." I wasn't surprised if Isaac didn't listen. Ryan never did.

Isaac said, "Every day after school you come over to my house. I know I can't see but still I will help you get rid of your anger and forget about everything at school. I promise I won't do anything stupid." I laughed. I was glad Isaac was there for me.

I said, "That sounds like an amazing idea. I haven't found a way to get my anger out." Isaac laughed. I laughed with him. My dad came in and sat next to me.

I said, "Isaac I got to go. I will see you later." I hung up. I wanted to say I love you but I barely know him. I really did fall for Isaac.

My dad said, "Who is Isaac? He must be important if you care so much about him." I am my father's daughter. I have the same expressions as him so when something is up he can tell. He knew I loved Isaac.

I said, "He is one of the people at my support group. He had cancer that made him go blind. He is a great guy. I never expect him to hurt anyone. Daddy I think I am falling in love with him." My arms hugged my dad. I saw my brother staring at us. I wanted him to see that I can actually find love in my life. My dad put his head on mine as we hugged.

Next morning I woke up to my phone ringing. I looked at who was calling. It was Isaac. Apparently he has never heard of letting a girl sleep in. I answered it anyways

I said, "Can't you let me sleep? It isn't nice to disturb a girl while she is sleeping." I could hear him laugh as I said that. I went to put on normal clothes.

He said, "Come one we are going to go on a trip."

I said, "Give me five minutes. See you soon." I hung up my phone and quickly got dressed. I put my hair in a ponytail and put on a pair of blue converse. I headed downstairs.

My dad and Isaac were talking. I smiled that they were getting along. I gave my dad a hug. He was my number guy. He was over protective of me but I knew he was making sure I am safe because of everything. I was his only girl since I was five and he made sure that it stays that way. He never dated ever since Mom died.

I said, "I promise Daddy I will be fine. I love you so much. I will call you if I need you to come and get me." My dad smiled and gave me a hug. I grabbed Isaac and we left.

Isaac said, "I hope you like parks because I found this amazing park. I thought it would be a great place for us to hang out since we need to get to know each other better." I smiled as I followed him. I really did love this guy.

At the park Isaac and I sat on a bench. I stared at him. I didn't know what to say. I was going to let him speak first. Before one of us could speak I saw Ryan. He was heartbroken. I don't know why.

Isaac said, "What are your hobbies?"

I said, "I love reading, drawing, and writing but that is about it." Ryan was staring at me and it was bothering me

Isaac said, "What is your life story? Besides everything that has happened that I already know of." I smiled.

I said, "I was five when I lost my mother. Before she died my brother promised her that he would protect me. He never let anyone hurt me. When I was six I met my only friend Ryan. He was the son of my mom's best friend. He was just as over protective of me as my brother. Once I was ten I was diagnosed with leukemia. I was bullied at school and my brother always came to the rescue. In middle school I fell in love with Ryan but that ended in high school. In high school both my brother and Ryan were accepted on the football team causing them to abandon me. Here we are."

Isaac said, "Your brother broke his promise didn't he. He did it for Angelica. Ryan wants to be there for you he can't though. I can tell from how you describe him." I smiled as Isaac walked me home


	3. Falling

I got ready for school. I was ready to take on the day. I knew that I could be prepared for today. I stepped out of the house and got in my brother's car. I was ready for him to kill me. He just ignored me. I was pretty excited for today.

At school I went straight to my locker. I just had to get through this day till I see Isaac. I wasn't going to let anything ruin my day. I hope Angelica stays out of my way because my dad had a nice talk to her parents and my brother. Ryan started off with his friends. I swear this will be a normal day.

At my locker no one came to talk to me till someone grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and it was Ryan. He NEVER comes over to hang out with me. I only deal with him in class. He had a worry look on his face. I was really concern. I knew this was going to be interesting. I was not excited.

He said, "Who were you hanging out with yesterday? I don't want you to get hurt. If he hurts you…."

I interrupted him, "SINCE WHEN DID YOU CARE ABOUT ME? EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL YOU FORGOT I EVEN EXISTED. I DON'T THINK THIS IS FAIR YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE." I was not happy. I was done with everyone. If everyone truly cared they would just leave me alone. No one ever cares. Not since high school.

Ryan said, "I regretted leaving you. I wanted to hurt everyone that hurts you. I couldn't not in a million years. Every day I wanted to be by your side. I left you because I knew that I would eventually hurt you and I wanted it to be sooner than later. I am sorry I left. I love you." I knew he liked me but I moved on from him. I was falling for Isaac. I knew I was. I only known him for a little bit and I was falling for him.

I said, "I moved on. Ryan ever since we started high school I learned that I don't need you. You hurt me and I can't forgive you. No matter how hard you try it won't make us any better. I wished you learned that. Ryan I am falling for someone else. I can't let you hurt me anymore. Just leave me alone." I started walking to class. I was crying. I took a pit stop at the bathroom. I washed my face with the sink. I looked in the mirror. I needed a makeover. I realized I can't have a makeover. I couldn't afford it.

Abby said, "Are you alright? I know what it is like to be in your position. Someone you cared about hurt you and now they are coming back right when you found someone new. That happened to me. My friend, Monica, started dating the guy I liked and she left me. Later Monica called me crying. She didn't want to date a blind guy so she dumped him. Now she expects me to be best friends with her again." I gasped. Monica was the Monica. The girl that broke up with Isaac. I was falling for the Queen bee's best friend's ex. I looked at Abby.

I said, "Isaac. She broke his heart. He loved her. No this can't get any worse." Abby gasped at my reaction.

She said, "Your Isaac's mystery girl. I should have known. Every time I come over to see Isaac lately he has been talking about a girl who is completely different from Monica. He was falling for her. The way you fall asleep…"

I interrupted, "Slowly then all at once. The exact same way I am falling for him. I love him and I barley know him. I want to be there for him. I can't let him get hurt. I truly love him." Abby smiled at me. She hugged me. I knew she wanted to be friends with me. I smiled back at her.

She said, "Want to go to the mall? I mean afterschool. If you want." I nodded.

I said, "I have plans with Isaac but I am pretty sure Isaac will be fine with me hanging out with someone else. Or he could join if wanted." Abby gave me a nod. We quickly went our separate ways. We had made an agreement that we would meet at lunch at sit together. We would talk about Isaac and how much better he is without Monica. Still I wanted to know more about them.

I ran into my brother. He just glared at me. I could tell in his eyes that he was sorry. He wasn't going to admit it though. I wasn't going to let him apologize anyways. He is never going to get away with what he did to me. Just like Ryan. I am never going to give people forgiveness for what they did. I can't let them be easily forgiven. I wish I was strong enough to hold on it. I was done with the pain and if they wanted to know what I went through then I was going to bring it to them.

At lunch I sat under the bleachers. I told Abby that I sit there since no one goes back there. She agreed to meet me there. She was going to meet some of her friends but she told them that she had a test to make up and so they let her go. Abby made her way to where I was at. Someone grabbed her. It was Tristan. Tristan was Monica's boyfriend after Isaac. I never knew what guys saw in Monica. I don't really want to find out.

I heard them talking. All I got out of it was Tristan asked Abby out. Abby didn't really want to. Abby doesn't want Monica after her because she was the reason Tristan and Monica broke up. Tristan asked her to the dance. Abby said she would think about it and left. Abby sat down across from me and smiled.

I said, "Do you like him? I mean you know who I like. Why can't I know if you like him or not?" Abby started giggling. Her whole face lit up. She definitely liked him.

She said, "I have had a crush on him since Monica introduced me to him. For a long time him and I would just talk on the phone. Monica eventually found out that he was pretty much dating someone else. She broke up with him. She never figured out it was me. One night Monica called me crying. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that Tristan cheated on her. She was never going to forgive him. The next day she tried to wrap him around her finger. It didn't work out very well. She moved on. She never realized how badly she hurt Isaac and she only cared about herself. I never knew why I let her get away of hurting Isaac."

I looked down. I loved Isaac but I couldn't let him know. I was having a hard time letting him in though. I couldn't let him into my life. I had the worst life ever. The life no one else could survive living. I was miserable.

I said, "Tomorrow is the talent show right? I think I might sign up. I have everything I need to for it. I just need Isaac there." Abby smiled. I was an amazing singer. I used to sing all of the time but I quit because no one wanted me to sing with them. I was Miss Invisible.

Abby said, "I remember in junior high you used to sing all of the time. I thought you were amazing. I wondered why you quit singing." I sighed I just needed to get an outfit that would help me stick out. I wanted to look different.

I said, "No one wanted to sing with me. I wished I could but no one wanted to sing with me. I didn't care what everyone thought I wanted to sing but no one would let me so I didn't sing. I just thought it was fair since no one really cared about me so why should I sing?" Abby's mouth drop. She was almost in shock.

She said, "You were the reason that the middle school choir got far in the competitions. You were the reason people actually wanted to go to the concerts and pay attention. Once everyone realized you weren't singing for choir anymore they quit coming. I wished that the people in choir realize their mistake. You were amazing." I smiled as we walked our separate ways to go to class.

After school I was at the mall. I saw Abby and Isaac. I wanted to break down because they were busy occupying each other's time. I was heartbroken. I gave up. Abby broke away from the kiss smiling. I ran away from them. I could tell this was all Monica's idea. I didn't stop running till I got home. I ran to my room and I just collapsed on my bed. I was done. I was the one that always got hurt. I hated it. I wanted a chance to be free. I couldn't let anyone close to me without me getting hurt.

My brother opened the door to my room and let someone in. I was afraid to look. My guess it was Isaac coming to apologize. Right away I knew it wasn't by the way my brother wasn't talking. I had a guess who it was.

Augustus' voice said, "Isaac called me not to long ago. He said that he heard you crying and running away. He knew it was you because he has heard you cry so many times he can tell when it is you. Why did you run away from him crying? Is everything alright?" I didn't answer. I didn't even look at Augustus. I couldn't bear to look at anyone. I didn't want to talk about it either.

I just lay down. I refused to look up. I didn't want to give up anything to speak. I didn't want this. Not that anything was going to get me to speak. I refused to get out of here. I know what I saw. No one was going to believe me.

Hazel's voice said, "Gus let's go it is obvious she doesn't want to talk. Isaac must of done something to of hurt her. She doesn't want to talk so let's go." I didn't move from my position. I couldn't let them hurt me. I wanted to be able to take care of myself. I could but I couldn't let myself close to anyone again.

They left and I kept whispering oblivion is inevitable. I know it is. I wished it wasn't. I only knew that everything is inevitable. Dying, getting sick, doctor appointments, anything and everything. Having cancer makes everything inevitable. I couldn't find anything that isn't inevitable. I hate being surrounded by inevitable.


	4. TIme for it to end

Today is the day I will sing in front of everyone. I mean yeah I was pretty sure I was going to be joked thatI was in the talent show. No one really cared if anything they cheered me on. My brother actually talked to me for once. I mean why now after all of these years. I lived in a small world of just my dad and me. My brother was never there for me. I wished everything was just like it was until everyone realized that I was in the talent show.

I sat down under the bleachers at lunch. My brother came over and sat down with me. I ignored him but then Ryan sat down next to me. I was really creped out by this because they never do this. They usually ignore me like 24/7. I knew that Ryan was trying to become my friend again. My brother doesn't.

I said, "Okay why are you guys doing this to me? You never do this to me. You guys leave me alone all of the time. I wished that you guys would make up your minds." They looked at each other. I knew exactly what was going to happen. I picked up my stuff and ran home. I didn't care if I was no longer performing in the talent show. I just wasn't going to be around the guys. I locked my door and slid down the door crying. I grabbed my phone and dialed Isaac's number. He was the only one I could talk to.

Isaac jokingly said, "Hey I haven't talked to you in a while."

I said, "I need to talk. Everyone is scaring me. I need someone to talk to."

Isaac replied, "Can I come over or are you still mad?" I heard knocking at my bedroom door. I knew exactly who it was.

I said, "I will come over. Be there in 10 minutes." I hung up and unlocked the door. My brother was standing there. His face expression was relief. I shoved passed him and tried to get away. He grabbed me.

He said, "Sis I did this for your own good. I can't believe you freaked out on us. You can't be running around with some stranger."

I said, "Some stranger? Don't you dare say he is some stranger. He is probably the only guy that is ever going to treat me right. No instead you told Ryan that I want to go out with him. I can't believe you. You don't know me anymore. Just leave me alone." I stormed off. I headed straight for Isaac's.

At Isaac's I sat down next to him. He was playing his video game that is voice activated. I nudged him. It was to make sure he knew I was here.

He said, "Hey. You aren't in a very good mood. What is wrong?"

I said, "My brother decided to tell my ex best friend that I wanted to be his girlfriend. My brother thinks you are some stranger or something."

Isaac said, "Wow. I am some stranger. So are you still in the talent show for tonight? I can find out if you don't know." I smiled.

I said, "You would do that for me. You are my hero." Isaac laughed. He wrapped his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder. I felt like this would be the moment he would ask me out. That was a major disappointment.

He said, "You are still in the talent show. If they kicked you off I got you back on." I smiled. I was so happy that he would do that for me. It means everything for me.

I said, "Thank you Isaac. You are going to be there right?" He laughed. I lifted my head.

He said, "Of course I will be. Wouldn't want to miss it for the world." I checked the time and it was almost time for me to head home before I got in trouble. I gave Isaac a kiss on the cheek.

I said, "I have to go. Can't wait to see you tonight." I grabbed my stuff and left for home. I knew it was a long walk since I didn't take the pickup truck.

At home my dad was sitting on the couch. I knew I was in big trouble. It isn't my fault my brother decided to make decisions for me. I mean who does that to their own sister. I just wanted to punch him in the face.

My dad said, "I got a call from school that you missed half the day. Your brother told me that you ran off when he was trying to talk to you. Mel this isn't the daughter I raised you to be. I raised you to be trying as hard as possible in school. You would be the girl who tried everything to get passed the schooling abuse you have had. Mel you almost got kicked off of the list for the talent show. What happened to you?" I knew that if I tried to leave my dad would be even angrier at me. I saw Kyle in the corner watching and listening to the conversation.

I said, "Kyle doesn't know what he is saying. He told Ryan that I told Kyle that I wanted to go out with him. Dad I haven't liked him since we started high school. Then Kyle told me that he didn't like me hanging out with Isaac. Isaac is the only person my age that understands me. Isaac convinced someone at school to keep me in the talent show because it wasn't my fault that I wanted to leave school. Kyle doesn't know a single thing about me. Nothing at all." I started to walk away. I thought this conversation was over.

My dad said, "Get back over here. We need to finish this conversation. Your brother was worried about you. You used to be his princess and now you don't even talk to him not that much. We were the family everyone wanted. What happened?" I rolled my eyes. I hated these conversations.

I said, "Your son left me alone to survive high school. I am sorry but I never want to be seen with him around. He hurt me more than you think he did. He left me. He let his girlfriend abuse me and what did he do? He did absolutely nothing. He may play good boy do anything to protect my sister around you but when you are gone he pretends I don't exist. Do you know what I go through? DO YOU KNOW WHY I AM ALWAYS AT ISAAC'S? I stormed off and into my room. I grabbed the dress I was going to wear. I put my hair into a side braid. I put on a little bit of makeup.

I walked back downstairs. I had my dad zip up the back of my dress. I looked in the mirror. My dark purple dress stood out with my black hair. My dad stood behind me smiling. I laid my head on his shoulder. I hugged him. He hugged me back.

I said, "I miss her too. I want to do this for her but I don't know if I will be able to do it without crying." My dad hugged me tight. Kyle was just staring at me like he saw a ghost.

My dad said, "You will be fine." I climbed into the pickup. My dad drove and Kyle sat in the back probably texting his girlfriend or Ryan. I stared out my window as my dad drove me all the way across town. I just wanted to cry. I knew that this could be my future.

At school I stood backstage. I saw all of the cheerleaders staring at me. Their face just filled with hatred. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. I just sat down since I was going to be the last one to perform. I signed up last on purpose so people will be almost asleep and they wouldn't pay attention to me.

One by one everyone performed and it was my turn. I was handed a microphone. I took a deep breath and walked on stage. I wanted to back down but I saw Isaac. This was my last chance. I looked up and prayed.

I said, "Hello everybody. My name is Mel. I am going to sing for you. I lost my mom when I was younger. Later I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I want to designate this song to my mom. I miss her more than anyone in the world." Everyone clapped. I took one last breath and started singing.

_I'm staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain. I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing and the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me but these places and these faces are getting old. So I'm going home, well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you. I've not always been the best man or friend for you but your love it makes true and I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home, back to the place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me but these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all and then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, yeah

Oh, well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me but these places and these faces are getting old. I said these places and these faces are getting old so I'm going home, I'm going home.

Everyone just applauded louder than anyone else. The results of each person came in and I tied first with the cheerleaders. They had an amazing dance routine and we tied. We both were prepared for tie breaker. They went first. They did not so well. I got up on stage again.Bottom of Form

_There's a girl who sits under the bleachers. Just another day eating alone. Though she smiles there is something she's hiding and she can't find a way to relate. She just goes unnoticed as the crowd passes by and she'll pretend to be busy. When inside she just wants to cry she'll say..._

_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little harder, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes. Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you'll ask her, her name._

_The beginning, in the first weeks of class she did everything to try and fit in. But the others they couldn't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface. And she would close her eyes when they laughed and she fell down the stairs and the more that they joked and the more that they screamed. She retreated to where she is now and she'll sing..._

_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little harder I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes... shoes yeah yeah (oh). Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you'll ask her name._

_Then one day just the same as the last. Just the days been in counting the time came a boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind..._

Everyone in the crowd stood up and applauded. I started crying. I never knew what it was like to be appreciated. I ran to Isaac. I just hugged him.

He whispered, "Will you be my girlfriend?"


	5. Reality Smacks me in the Face

I was so surprised that he asked that. I mean I wanted him to ask me but I couldn't believe he was doing it now. I was speechless. I just didn't know what to say. I actually got first place at the talent show and now Isaac is asking me out. What does the world all of the sudden changing who I am? I didn't understand.

I said, "I would love to but this have been an overwhelming day. I will let you know as soon as I make up my mind." Isaac nodded and left. I felt so bad. First his best friend was dying and now I didn't give him a specific answer. I didn't know what to do. I just felt bad.

On Monday I got to school and everyone was pilling on top of me. I know that is what I used to want but I realized all I needed was Isaac. I pushed through the crowd and to my locker. I preferred to be a nobody again. This was the life I used to have and then everyone went against me in high school. I was done with this.

The last day of school was approaching. I just wanted to get out of this place. I wanted to go home and just sleep. I know that sounds bad but my dad said if I got through this year with amazing grades that he would let me stay home for college and take online classes. At first it would have been a safety precaution. Later it became that you aren't needed to go back to the hospital as much so you can stay if you get amazing grades.

Monica said, "Hey Mel. I hear you are dating Isaac. I want you to know I had him first and that he will love me more than he will ever love you. I hope you realize that deep down Isaac still loves me and that he will just say he loves you but really he loves me. Back down Mel he is mine."

I shouted at her, "REALLY WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE BECAME BLIND? OBVIOUSLY NOT WITH HIM. APPARENTLY THAT YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR A BOYFRIEND WHO IS BLIND. DID YOU KNOW HOW BADLY YOU HURT HIM? HE WAS THE ONE THAT EGGED YOUR CAR BECAUSE YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS. THAT ISN'T FAIR FOR HIM. I WAS THERE AND I AM SORRY BUT HE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU AGAIN." The whole school was watching. They gasped at what they just heard. Monica's mouth had dropped open. She was so surprised at what I have said. No one talks to any of the populars like that. Nobody except me.

I walked off and headed to class. When I walked in all of the kids were clapping. I was confused. I looked behind me and no one was there. I knew exactly why they were clapping but I headed to my desk pretending that I didn't hear anything. I sat down and Ryan was staring at me. This was going to be a nightmare.

He said, "You yelled at my girlfriend. She must be so upset at the moment. How could you be so rude to her? Melony this isn't the girl I know from our childhood. You never cared how people treated you. What changed it all of a sudden?"

I said, "You don't know a thing about me. I grew up with a guy who always had my back and where did he go? I changed just like you did. Monica hurt the guy I loved and I don't care if she is your girlfriend or not. I will yell at her if she gets in my face again. Next time it won't be so pretty. So send a warning to your girlfriend. Isaac cares about me and not her." I ignored Ryan the rest of the day.

At home I sat on my bed. The school chat was filled with either complements on how well my singing was or how I actually stood up to Monica. I know that I should be happy but everyone is noticing me and I don't like how they are treating the people just like me. The people who are lost and insecure. I had a text from Isaac. Augustus was in the hospital and they don't know how long he will be there. I stared at my phone that I didn't realize my brother came in. I didn't care anyways if he did.

Kyle said, "Monica of all people you yell at in frustration. Monica is a good person. She helps with everything. Why did you do that? Why are you staring at your phone?"

I said, "First of all, we know different sides of Monica. You know the nice side and I know the devil side. She broke up with Isaac because he was going to go blind. Second I am staring at my phone because Augustus, Isaac's friend, is in the hospital and they don't know how long he has. I am sorry but when Isaac has his best friend dying I would rather talk to Isaac to make sure that his friend is okay than talk to you." I went back to ignoring my brother. I felt so bad for Isaac. I called him to make sure everything was alright.

I said, "Hey Isaac. I hope you are alright. I miss you and if you need anyone I am here for you. I love you. So if you get this call me back. I really hope you get through this and I am always here for you. I love you so much and I will be right by my phone in case you call. Bye Isaac call me back." I hung up and fell against my pillow. I broke down crying. My phone started going off and it was Isaac.

I said, "Hey Isaac. I am so glad you called me back. I have missed you so much. Are you alright?"

Isaac answered, "I am fine. I missed you too. Could you come over in 15 minutes? Please I need to talk to someone. I love you Mel."

I said, "Yeah I will come over. I promise I will be there in 15 minutes. I love you too Isaac. You know you can call me anytime. I can leave class if I need to. I will answer in the middle of the night. See you soon."

Isaac said, "Okay thank you so much Mel. See you soon." I hung up and went down stairs. My dad was on the couch. He had his hands on his cheeks. Something was up. I grabbed him and hugged him.

I said, "Dad I need to go hang out with Isaac he really needs me at the moment. I will be back as soon as possible. I promise." I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I grabbed the keys to the truck and drove to Isaac's. I walked in and Isaac was upset I could tell.

I whispered, "Isaac? Please answer me. I know you are upset about Augustus being in the hospital. Isaac I am here for you. I will do almost anything for you. Please just talk to me. I will do anything for you. I love you Isaac and I want to be your girlfriend. I just didn't know when to tell you that I am ready. I know this isn't the best time but it will be better now than in the future. Please Isaac we need to be together now before we lose our love for each other." Isaac grabbed me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him. I started crying. I just wanted to be with Isaac and this wasn't the best time.

Isaac said, "Of course you are my girlfriend. I know you will always be there for me. I know this will never be the best time. You never know what is going to happen and I am glad that you finally confessed. I thought you were never going to. Mel I love you so much and I won't let anyone hurt you. I wish that there was a better time. I can't believe that this is the world we are stuck in. I would rather have you told me now before it was too late." I kissed him and he held me tight. I knew that there was no end. It had to end with my phone ringing.

I said, "Hello?"

Kyle's voice said, "Get to the hospital now. Dad he was almost dead when I found him. I told you that you can't leave unless I am there. Dad has been suicidal. We have tried to hide it from you. He has been like this since Mom died. Just get to the hospital. I will talk to you more there." I hung up and dropped my phone. I fell to the ground crying. Why did they hide this form me? I can't lose my dad. He was my last person I could lean on. If he died I would not function. I would literally give up on everything. This couldn't happen.

Isaac said, "Do I need to ask my mom to drive you somewhere? Mel is everything alright? Don't cry."

I said, "I need to get to the hospital. My dad tried to commit suicide because I left him home alone to come see you. I didn't know he was suicidal. If I have known I would have called my brother as soon as I got off the phone with you. I should have known." Isaac picked me up and he carried me to the truck.

Isaac's mom drove Isaac and me to the hospital. I literally laid on Isaac the whole ride. I couldn't breathe without crying. My dad was the most important person to me and he tried to kill himself. This was my grandma all over again. She almost committed suicide but she heard my dad and his sisters come in from school and she couldn't leave her kids. I knew if I came home sooner we wouldn't be in this mess. My life would still be happy. I would have never known that my dad was suicidal. I knew that this was my life. A new begging. Or so I thought.

Isaac screamed, "Mel don't do this to me. I need you. Me. l I need you to breathe. Don't pass out now. Mel…" That was the last I heard. I didn't know what happened but that was the last thing Isaac said. Till my whole life changed.


End file.
